[ This is... Quite a lot already. G'raha has to take a moment, to try to make everything disjointed make sense. That's not really Marcel's fault. He's absolutely trying and again Raha is shocked to find that the other is speaking so much. Trying so hard to make G'raha understand... Something.
He's just not sure what that something is.
A calamity. One so severe that the survivors thought that they should go back to a time where it could be prevented. This means that they had the technology and ability to integrate it into the Tower. Yet such a feat would require an enormous amount of aether and.
And it would be a one way trip. ]
"He." You keep saying "he."
[ There's no way a thing could be done without waking him. Though G'raha is now starting to wonder who the "he" is in this scenario. For Raha can't imagine that he'd allow anyone to go through this, if he had been alive in this situation. ]
He. Does not like me to call him by your name. [ He pauses. Corrects. ] Did not. The you who woke up after the calamity.
[ He chews on his lip, frowning. ]
He has made a plan. About you. And I love him but I do not like when he makes plans. He makes very bad ones. And you are not his to make plans at. So I would like you to leave here. To journey with me. Or to go back to Sharlayan. Or to stay with Krile. Or to collect large towers of books. Or whatever you would want to do if you were not here. So that you can choose whether you like his plan more than whatever it is you would want to do.
[ That's... That's what he had thought. Or, rather, that's what he had a sinking feeling it could be. Himself. From another time, of course, and now likely displaced. It's not surprising, really. There's no one else who could really have such an intimate knowledge of the Crystal Tower and operate it.
But it's odd. It's odd to hear that plans have been made for the him in the here and now. Marcel is speaking about this version of himself that he doesn't know, but with a word like love. Thus it dawns on G'raha that this attachment, the desire to wake him, comes from a rapport build with this man in the future.
Not necessarily one borne from their time together. ]
What is it, this plan of his?
[ Marcel seems to want his G'raha to make the choice, but it's not really sounding like there's much of one to take. ]
He- he would like to become you again. For you to become him. I do not understand the process. There is a stone, now, and it is holding his soul and his memories and his blood. I used it to enter the tower. It could be used to make you remember becoming him. But he said that there were risks. He said one of you might consume the other. Or that both of you might be harmed. Or-
[ He does not like this. He does not like this at all. His face scrunches in distaste and he does not look up to meet G'raha's eyes. ]
-I do not like this plan. I think it is cruel to ask it of you. And that he thinks it is right to be cruel because you are his to be cruel to. It would be right to let him be dead, and to mourn him, and to come here and tell you that your work is done.
[ Except he doesn't like that, either. He is trying to want that. But his voice shakes, just a little. ]
[ How Marcel managed to get into the Crystal Tower. Isn't this the entire reason why he had put himself in here? Because his blood could be used?
Apparently it doesn't matter. Even should he sleep for as long as he supposedly is meant to, the Crystal Tower will be opened. The technology, the ability will exist. So, then, what is the point of being locked away from the rest of the star? ]
No, I don't. I don't suppose I will be going back to sleep.
[ If nothing else, he wants to see Krile. To hear her voice and see her as it has been brought to his attention would be. A relief.
As for the rest of it, G'raha knows that there are memories within his blood. It's not surprising to hear that he could potentially house another. Odd to think that it is himself and that there is a version of himself that would yet want to live. Who is he, this G'raha Tia, to deny him that? To live a life that this other version clearly wants to have.
There are risks, yes, for anything involving the soul would be risky. Naturally Raha can't understand the particulars, though it seems that this other him clearly had. Yet Marcel doesn't want him to take that option? Would be okay with leaving the soul encased in crystal to just stay where it is? ]
Many would think your tale far-fetched. They may have a hard time believing it. Yet I know you are not one for deception or dishonesty. No, I don't believe you know how to lie at all, really. Not convincingly.
[ So let him at least reassure Marcel that he does, truly, believe everything that he's said. ]
Yet it would not just be him that would be lost, now would it? Those memories would contain moments spent with those that no longer exist - that may never. A sacrifice made that, perhaps, shouldn't be left "dead," so to speak.
[ He looks up at that. Confused. Uncertain. Just like that. Just like that, G'raha agrees to sharing his life. As if he finds himself less conflicted about it than he does himself.
Somehow, it isn't as surprising as it should be. Just as he was in insisting to lead the charge, years ago. Just as he was in locking himself away here. Just as he was in being the one to go to the first. Just as he has been in every plan he ever made, G'raha Tia is infuriatingly cavalier about his own wellbeing. ]
There is not a need for me to perform lying. I am stronger than anyone I could tell lies to.
[ It's less defensive and more the first words he thinks to say. But it is still a little defensive. Because he does frequently find himself needing to lie, and the only way he has of doing so is being very quiet while someone else tells lies for him. And he does stubbornly maintain that any situation that requires deception can be resolved just as easily with truth and an axe. ]
So you know, then. That I have said the truth about how I have missed you. You. And not the other you. It is not good, to not have anyone to tell me the proper names of the things I am fighting. I have to worry that I am calling them the wrong thing.
[ Yes, he still worries about the Phlegethon and Acheron mix-up. ]
[ Well... What has he does to earn the happiness that people want for him? No, this G'raha hasn't done anything to merit that sort of consideration. This other version of himself? He has saved the star. Not just one star, but two. Stopped a calamity. Earned the affection and loyalty of even Marcel, stoic as he ever had been.
So if someone should have a shot at happiness, a life that had been robbed of him, it's probably this other G'raha Tia. The one that no longer wishes to be called that name. ]
I am aware of how strong you are. It would appear that you have gotten stronger in the time that I have slept.
[ And really he had been referring to the entire ordeal - not necessarily that Marcel has missed him. But hearing that? Hearing that Marcel had missed him. His head jerks upright, ears wiggling. Then folding back in embarrassment. ]
...Something of that nature, is it really that important?
People- ask me things, now. Important things, that they write down for other people to read. And they do not think about how I might say something that is not correct, and how people might read it and believe an incorrect thing. I do not like it. That someone might be made to believe an incorrect thing because I am not good at knowing things.
[ Look, learning how important documents largely made up of his own very fallible reports of events eventually became in the future is kind of terrifying, and he's grateful that G'raha himself was the one to read them and better equipped than most to understand that his own words might not have been as reliable as people were portraying. ]
And it is nice to know the names of things. [ He trails off there, frowning in thought again before coaxing one of his arms back from out of G'raha's grasp. ] May I. Have your hand?
People ask you things. It would appear that I have missed much by being asleep.
[ Just what has changed? G'raha can't really imagine people asking Marcel things. Not because the Viera isn't intelligent or has nothing worthwhile to say. Moreover, Marcel himself doesn't appear to be the sort that talks much.
Even though he is doing so now. He really wants to know this because Marcel himself is different. ]
Oh. Apologies.
[ That oh is because he realizes he still has a grip on Marcel. G'raha sucks in a breath. Slowly removes his hands from the Warrior as he is coaxed to do. ]
[ Something new flashes over his face. Entirely new, something that G'raha would never have seen all those years ago. Excitement. He has things he wants to share. Little anecdotes that he knows he could lay before G'raha that would delight him. About Azys Lla and the Warring Triad. About the allagan ruins beneath the Burn. About Doma and Ala Mhigo being free, now, with futures ahead of them.
But he doesn't share, not yet. Because he will only get the details wrong, and once they leave he can hear it from people better at telling people things. Instead he just waits while G'raha releases his arms. ]
[ Yes, he doesn't really know that look. Raha's never seen what excitement looks on Marcel's face. It almost makes him smile in return. Almost. G'raha can't quite bring himself to do that since the world is awfully confusing right now.
And maybe that's yet another reason why it would be better for this other G'raha to just take his place. He'd understand, would know what to do with himself. ]
Well I certainly didn't think you would be removing it.
[ A small attempt at being witty. G'raha is trying, if only so the other can't really pick up on his more self depreciating thoughts. Yet his hand he does give to Marcel. ]
[ He takes G'raha's hand carefully, cradling it in one hand and pressing a finger into the palm of it with the other. And then slowly, slowly, he begins to trace the shape of letters. R, A, Q, I, A. ]
You may not speak this word. Never. It is not yours to say. But now you know it. And he does not. So if you remember it, once you are done, I will know that it is still you.
[ It's quite embarrassing, really, how his stomach flutters at the way Marcel holds his hand. Like it is something quite precious. His eyes then narrow, trying to make out the letters that are being etched on his hand. Ears then move, perking as he opens his mouth to sound it out -
Good thing Marcel tells him not too. He looks up then at the Viera. Understanding begins to dawn on his features. ]
Why... Why tell me?
[ There is only one thing that a Viera would say never to utter. It's their name. Their birthname. ]
[ He pushes G'raha's fingers closed, curling them in over his palm as if to trap the letters there. ]
It is a secret. I do not have any other secrets. There is nothing else I can be certain he does not know.
[ With that, he finally lets go and fumbles around in inner pockets of his cloak. He retrieves it from where it was tucked against his chest. A splinter of white auracite, it's surface stained with blood. He sets the stone down between them, stoking his fingers adoringly over it's surface. ]
This is him. It would be. Better. Maybe. For you to return home before you remember. But I wanted you to see him.
[ And if it would be presumptuous to refer to the Rising Stones as G'raha's home, he doesn't seem to care. ]
[ Raha, in return, holds his arm to his own chest. He understand now. It's the only thing that the other version of himself wouldn't know. That means that there is so much that the other does. Secrets that this G'raha is not privy to. Things that make Marcel look at that crystal - the auracite - and touch it so fondly.
He sees the look in Marcel's eye too. How could he make a choice that would rob Marcel of someone that brings such gentleness from him? That truly knows him. ]
Ah. You are probably right, of course. Do you mind? If I have a moment, I mean. My legs seem to be quite stiff still.
[ All while reaching out to touch that auracite. ]
I do not mind this. It is- it will be good. To rest a moment.
[ He should have kept hold of G'raha's hand, of course. He should have kept offering his arms. He doesn't. Instead, he closes his eyes and draws his knees up to his chest. He does not like this. He still does not like this, but it is good to have it out of his hands. They will return to the stones. And he can tell G'raha things as they go. About all the things he's missed. And then they will be safe at the stones, and people who understand the process better can guide G'raha through the process of the merging of souls. And he will only need to stand there and do as he is told.
His shoulders sink. He listens to the movement of water beneath the throne. To the sounds of the wilds of Mor Dhona and the distant thudding of giant footsteps. And he listens to G'raha's heartbeat - different in waking than in sleep - and dismisses the sound of movement as him trying to bring feeling back into his limbs. ]
The tea will be cold. When we return. This is acceptable. There will be more tea.
[ Oh... Marcel doesn't understand what the phrase means. G'raha would need to be more direct in telling him to leave him be for a moment. Though he has to wonder if that would even really work, given how he had come to be in the Tower in the first place. ]
You seem to be in more distress than I.
[ Why, though. It doesn't make any sense. Marcel had just admitting to having feelings for this other version of himself. Surely he would want him back instead of mourn, in all actuality. ]
[ G'raha doesn't know the half of it. he couldn't, of course, considering he had been asleep. Instead of being awake to be there for his companions, he had been asleep. Would continue to be asleep if not for the actions of another that had brought the Viera here. Yet, again, it had been by design rather than people coming together for the sole purpose of his release.
Yet Marcel seems to think that Raha should be the one to choose. Is it because he doesn't really want to make that sort of choice? Doesn't want to be responsible for the potential loss of one or the other?
Raha has so many question. He wishes he could be that perky thing. But this is much to take in. ]
Then rest here. It's not as though I am in any condition to leave just yet.
[ In truth, he's barely had a moment's rest since Elidibus led him through the streets of Amaurot. At first, there was no time. And then there was nothing but time, and he found himself filling everything moment of it with anything other than lingering on the memory of how easily a false Papalymo's bones broke under his fingers. Of the Exarch's voice growing fainter as his lungs harden into blue stone.
And then he was here, with a means to open the tower, and so he could not let G'raha remain here a moment longer. ]
I could carry you. But- [ And he pauses, nodding. He could carry G'raha. But it'd endanger him if he had to fight the fauna of Mor Dhona. ] You- You are kind to me. Thank you.
[ He relaxes again, as much as he is able. Which isn't a great deal, but it's better than nothing. He shouldn't need long. Just a moment, enough to calm himself. ]
[ G'raha only nods in response. Marcel is much changed since he had known him. It seems to be for the better, but it is hard telling. On the other hand, he truly does look exhausted. G'raha can only marvel at how he's been able to keep standing, keep moving. So many trials and tribulations. Has no one thought to...
Perhaps they have. Either way, is it really his place to comment on it? He hasn't been around. Nor. Nor will he be, given what he has just been told about the auracite in his hands.
Yet Marcel seems to relax, the burdens that had been piling up finally allow him to find some peace. G'raha almost hates to disturb it. Almost. ]
Kind? Oh... I am not sure that this is the word that I would use.
[ Nothing more than a whisper as he watches Marcel's breathing even out. Even if the other is to rest but for a moment, a moment is all he needs. A shaky hand reaches out, briefly, to rest between the Viera's ears. It's not something that he would normally do, he wouldn't have the courage to. But perhaps that is what this is all about, ultimately. G'raha simply doesn't have courage enough for a great many things, try as he might to put on a good show of overconfidence.
But he can allow himself this, briefly. After all. It might be the first and last time.
When he draws his hand back, it is to place it on the crystal in his hands. G'raha doesn't really need to be told what to do with it. Somehow he instinctively knows what to do, holding it to his chest and taking a deep breath.
And now his soul, broken as it is, will be in the hands of the star itself. A shame that Marcel will wake to find out that he had been fooled again. That's fine. It's always going to be fine, since this is probably better for everyone in the end. ]
[ It's a shame. His hair had been but recently washed - with soap and hot water, even - but the last frantic day has robbed all proof of it. It's matted with dried blood in places, and tangled with dust and dirt and pollen and leaves from every corner of Norvrandt. Tiny patches of fur are burned away from his good ear, like embers have caught against it. Even as unconcerned as he always is with his appearance, he finds himself suddenly and acutely aware that he cannot be pleasant to touch.
But he cannot bring himself to be so self-conscious that he doesn't lean into the contact like a man starved. His good ear falls forward in relaxation, the fur of it brushing against G'raha's arm as it does. It is good. It is good to rest, even if just for long enough to breathe and collect his thoughts. It is good to be touched - even if the fingers of G'raha's hand are warm and soft instead of cool and hard and smooth. It is good to know that for all the terrible price that had to be paid - this is victory. They have won, and in this moment everyone is as safe as they can be made. ]
Where-
[ It's barely a few minutes before he stirs, once the touch fades, uncurling his limbs and patting at the floor to feel for the auracite. Until now he's been carrying the stone close to his chest, a slight weight he's constantly aware of. It isn't there. His breath catches in his throat. He's lost him. He's lost him. He's left him alone. ] Where is he? Where-
[ Marcel needn't worry. Everything is... Well everything is present. If he looks around he won't find G'raha or the auracite on the throne. However if he leans over the arm? He'll notice that G'raha is there, as if trying to hide a little. Or at least not be in immediate sight.
The auracite? Well it's there, resting next to G'raha's hand where it's dropped. Rolled a small distance away, as if the Miqo'te had fallen asleep and his grip on it relinquished.
[ He reaches for the stone first, and it isn't until it's in his hands, dull and empty, that it occurs to him to feel even the slightest bit ashamed.
This isn't the Exarch. This isn't anyone, not anymore, just a lump of crystal and blood. ]
No. [ He says it softly but firmly, as if he expects someone to listen to him and make all of this untrue. ] No. Stop. Do not do this. Please. Thank you.
[ He paws at G'raha's sleeping form as he speaks, his too-calm tone doing very little to actually disguise the worry. ]
[ Fortunately or unfortunately, Marcel will be shaking him or touching G'raha for a couple of moments yet. During that time, it doesn't look as though he is going to wake. There would be no twitching of a tail or a finger. No brows pinching together or ears wiggling. The only thing that might make anyone think that there is still life in this body is the steady rising and falling of a chest.
But, when it looks as though maybe Marcel should give up on this endeavor, lashes flutter. A deep, sharp inhale is taken and ears begin to move once more. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2023-01-08 04:40 pm (UTC)He's just not sure what that something is.
A calamity. One so severe that the survivors thought that they should go back to a time where it could be prevented. This means that they had the technology and ability to integrate it into the Tower. Yet such a feat would require an enormous amount of aether and.
And it would be a one way trip. ]
"He." You keep saying "he."
[ There's no way a thing could be done without waking him. Though G'raha is now starting to wonder who the "he" is in this scenario. For Raha can't imagine that he'd allow anyone to go through this, if he had been alive in this situation. ]
Who.
(no subject)
Date: 2023-01-08 07:39 pm (UTC)[ He chews on his lip, frowning. ]
He has made a plan. About you. And I love him but I do not like when he makes plans. He makes very bad ones. And you are not his to make plans at. So I would like you to leave here. To journey with me. Or to go back to Sharlayan. Or to stay with Krile. Or to collect large towers of books. Or whatever you would want to do if you were not here. So that you can choose whether you like his plan more than whatever it is you would want to do.
(no subject)
Date: 2023-01-08 09:19 pm (UTC)But it's odd. It's odd to hear that plans have been made for the him in the here and now. Marcel is speaking about this version of himself that he doesn't know, but with a word like love. Thus it dawns on G'raha that this attachment, the desire to wake him, comes from a rapport build with this man in the future.
Not necessarily one borne from their time together. ]
What is it, this plan of his?
[ Marcel seems to want his G'raha to make the choice, but it's not really sounding like there's much of one to take. ]
(no subject)
Date: 2023-01-08 10:16 pm (UTC)[ He does not like this. He does not like this at all. His face scrunches in distaste and he does not look up to meet G'raha's eyes. ]
-I do not like this plan. I think it is cruel to ask it of you. And that he thinks it is right to be cruel because you are his to be cruel to. It would be right to let him be dead, and to mourn him, and to come here and tell you that your work is done.
[ Except he doesn't like that, either. He is trying to want that. But his voice shakes, just a little. ]
(no subject)
Date: 2023-01-08 10:46 pm (UTC)[ How Marcel managed to get into the Crystal Tower. Isn't this the entire reason why he had put himself in here? Because his blood could be used?
Apparently it doesn't matter. Even should he sleep for as long as he supposedly is meant to, the Crystal Tower will be opened. The technology, the ability will exist. So, then, what is the point of being locked away from the rest of the star? ]
No, I don't. I don't suppose I will be going back to sleep.
[ If nothing else, he wants to see Krile. To hear her voice and see her as it has been brought to his attention would be. A relief.
As for the rest of it, G'raha knows that there are memories within his blood. It's not surprising to hear that he could potentially house another. Odd to think that it is himself and that there is a version of himself that would yet want to live. Who is he, this G'raha Tia, to deny him that? To live a life that this other version clearly wants to have.
There are risks, yes, for anything involving the soul would be risky. Naturally Raha can't understand the particulars, though it seems that this other him clearly had. Yet Marcel doesn't want him to take that option? Would be okay with leaving the soul encased in crystal to just stay where it is? ]
Many would think your tale far-fetched. They may have a hard time believing it. Yet I know you are not one for deception or dishonesty. No, I don't believe you know how to lie at all, really. Not convincingly.
[ So let him at least reassure Marcel that he does, truly, believe everything that he's said. ]
Yet it would not just be him that would be lost, now would it? Those memories would contain moments spent with those that no longer exist - that may never. A sacrifice made that, perhaps, shouldn't be left "dead," so to speak.
(no subject)
Date: 2023-01-08 11:19 pm (UTC)Somehow, it isn't as surprising as it should be. Just as he was in insisting to lead the charge, years ago. Just as he was in locking himself away here. Just as he was in being the one to go to the first. Just as he has been in every plan he ever made, G'raha Tia is infuriatingly cavalier about his own wellbeing. ]
There is not a need for me to perform lying. I am stronger than anyone I could tell lies to.
[ It's less defensive and more the first words he thinks to say. But it is still a little defensive. Because he does frequently find himself needing to lie, and the only way he has of doing so is being very quiet while someone else tells lies for him. And he does stubbornly maintain that any situation that requires deception can be resolved just as easily with truth and an axe. ]
So you know, then. That I have said the truth about how I have missed you. You. And not the other you. It is not good, to not have anyone to tell me the proper names of the things I am fighting. I have to worry that I am calling them the wrong thing.
[ Yes, he still worries about the Phlegethon and Acheron mix-up. ]
(no subject)
Date: 2023-01-08 11:45 pm (UTC)So if someone should have a shot at happiness, a life that had been robbed of him, it's probably this other G'raha Tia. The one that no longer wishes to be called that name. ]
I am aware of how strong you are. It would appear that you have gotten stronger in the time that I have slept.
[ And really he had been referring to the entire ordeal - not necessarily that Marcel has missed him. But hearing that? Hearing that Marcel had missed him. His head jerks upright, ears wiggling. Then folding back in embarrassment. ]
...Something of that nature, is it really that important?
(no subject)
Date: 2023-01-09 12:09 am (UTC)[ Look, learning how important documents largely made up of his own very fallible reports of events eventually became in the future is kind of terrifying, and he's grateful that G'raha himself was the one to read them and better equipped than most to understand that his own words might not have been as reliable as people were portraying. ]
And it is nice to know the names of things. [ He trails off there, frowning in thought again before coaxing one of his arms back from out of G'raha's grasp. ] May I. Have your hand?
(no subject)
Date: 2023-01-09 12:43 am (UTC)[ Just what has changed? G'raha can't really imagine people asking Marcel things. Not because the Viera isn't intelligent or has nothing worthwhile to say. Moreover, Marcel himself doesn't appear to be the sort that talks much.
Even though he is doing so now. He really wants to know this because Marcel himself is different. ]
Oh. Apologies.
[ That oh is because he realizes he still has a grip on Marcel. G'raha sucks in a breath. Slowly removes his hands from the Warrior as he is coaxed to do. ]
My hand?
(no subject)
Date: 2023-01-09 01:10 am (UTC)[ Something new flashes over his face. Entirely new, something that G'raha would never have seen all those years ago. Excitement. He has things he wants to share. Little anecdotes that he knows he could lay before G'raha that would delight him. About Azys Lla and the Warring Triad. About the allagan ruins beneath the Burn. About Doma and Ala Mhigo being free, now, with futures ahead of them.
But he doesn't share, not yet. Because he will only get the details wrong, and once they leave he can hear it from people better at telling people things. Instead he just waits while G'raha releases his arms. ]
Please do not worry. I will return it as it was.
(no subject)
Date: 2023-01-09 01:54 am (UTC)And maybe that's yet another reason why it would be better for this other G'raha to just take his place. He'd understand, would know what to do with himself. ]
Well I certainly didn't think you would be removing it.
[ A small attempt at being witty. G'raha is trying, if only so the other can't really pick up on his more self depreciating thoughts. Yet his hand he does give to Marcel. ]
(no subject)
Date: 2023-01-09 02:15 am (UTC)[ He takes G'raha's hand carefully, cradling it in one hand and pressing a finger into the palm of it with the other. And then slowly, slowly, he begins to trace the shape of letters. R, A, Q, I, A. ]
You may not speak this word. Never. It is not yours to say. But now you know it. And he does not. So if you remember it, once you are done, I will know that it is still you.
(no subject)
Date: 2023-01-09 02:22 am (UTC)Good thing Marcel tells him not too. He looks up then at the Viera. Understanding begins to dawn on his features. ]
Why... Why tell me?
[ There is only one thing that a Viera would say never to utter. It's their name. Their birthname. ]
(no subject)
Date: 2023-01-09 02:50 am (UTC)It is a secret. I do not have any other secrets. There is nothing else I can be certain he does not know.
[ With that, he finally lets go and fumbles around in inner pockets of his cloak. He retrieves it from where it was tucked against his chest. A splinter of white auracite, it's surface stained with blood. He sets the stone down between them, stoking his fingers adoringly over it's surface. ]
This is him. It would be. Better. Maybe. For you to return home before you remember. But I wanted you to see him.
[ And if it would be presumptuous to refer to the Rising Stones as G'raha's home, he doesn't seem to care. ]
(no subject)
Date: 2023-01-09 03:04 am (UTC)He sees the look in Marcel's eye too. How could he make a choice that would rob Marcel of someone that brings such gentleness from him? That truly knows him. ]
Ah. You are probably right, of course. Do you mind? If I have a moment, I mean. My legs seem to be quite stiff still.
[ All while reaching out to touch that auracite. ]
(no subject)
Date: 2023-01-10 01:17 am (UTC)[ He should have kept hold of G'raha's hand, of course. He should have kept offering his arms. He doesn't. Instead, he closes his eyes and draws his knees up to his chest. He does not like this. He still does not like this, but it is good to have it out of his hands. They will return to the stones. And he can tell G'raha things as they go. About all the things he's missed. And then they will be safe at the stones, and people who understand the process better can guide G'raha through the process of the merging of souls. And he will only need to stand there and do as he is told.
His shoulders sink. He listens to the movement of water beneath the throne. To the sounds of the wilds of Mor Dhona and the distant thudding of giant footsteps. And he listens to G'raha's heartbeat - different in waking than in sleep - and dismisses the sound of movement as him trying to bring feeling back into his limbs. ]
The tea will be cold. When we return. This is acceptable. There will be more tea.
(no subject)
Date: 2023-01-10 01:34 am (UTC)You seem to be in more distress than I.
[ Why, though. It doesn't make any sense. Marcel had just admitting to having feelings for this other version of himself. Surely he would want him back instead of mourn, in all actuality. ]
(no subject)
Date: 2023-01-10 02:00 am (UTC)[ Is he distressed? It doesn't feel as if he has any right to be. He looks over at G'raha, blinking in confusion.
Is this what distress is meant to feel like? Like exhaustion and anger and fondness and terror, all of them tangled together? ]
-I am tired. I think. The last day has been. Long. Difficult. It will be good, when everyone is safe. To rest.
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Date: 2023-01-10 02:12 am (UTC)Yet Marcel seems to think that Raha should be the one to choose. Is it because he doesn't really want to make that sort of choice? Doesn't want to be responsible for the potential loss of one or the other?
Raha has so many question. He wishes he could be that perky thing. But this is much to take in. ]
Then rest here. It's not as though I am in any condition to leave just yet.
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Date: 2023-01-11 02:16 am (UTC)And then he was here, with a means to open the tower, and so he could not let G'raha remain here a moment longer. ]
I could carry you. But- [ And he pauses, nodding. He could carry G'raha. But it'd endanger him if he had to fight the fauna of Mor Dhona. ] You- You are kind to me. Thank you.
[ He relaxes again, as much as he is able. Which isn't a great deal, but it's better than nothing. He shouldn't need long. Just a moment, enough to calm himself. ]
finally! sorry
Date: 2023-01-22 09:10 pm (UTC)Perhaps they have. Either way, is it really his place to comment on it? He hasn't been around. Nor. Nor will he be, given what he has just been told about the auracite in his hands.
Yet Marcel seems to relax, the burdens that had been piling up finally allow him to find some peace. G'raha almost hates to disturb it. Almost. ]
Kind? Oh... I am not sure that this is the word that I would use.
[ Nothing more than a whisper as he watches Marcel's breathing even out. Even if the other is to rest but for a moment, a moment is all he needs. A shaky hand reaches out, briefly, to rest between the Viera's ears. It's not something that he would normally do, he wouldn't have the courage to. But perhaps that is what this is all about, ultimately. G'raha simply doesn't have courage enough for a great many things, try as he might to put on a good show of overconfidence.
But he can allow himself this, briefly. After all. It might be the first and last time.
When he draws his hand back, it is to place it on the crystal in his hands. G'raha doesn't really need to be told what to do with it. Somehow he instinctively knows what to do, holding it to his chest and taking a deep breath.
And now his soul, broken as it is, will be in the hands of the star itself. A shame that Marcel will wake to find out that he had been fooled again. That's fine. It's always going to be fine, since this is probably better for everyone in the end. ]
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Date: 2023-01-23 01:23 am (UTC)But he cannot bring himself to be so self-conscious that he doesn't lean into the contact like a man starved. His good ear falls forward in relaxation, the fur of it brushing against G'raha's arm as it does. It is good. It is good to rest, even if just for long enough to breathe and collect his thoughts. It is good to be touched - even if the fingers of G'raha's hand are warm and soft instead of cool and hard and smooth. It is good to know that for all the terrible price that had to be paid - this is victory. They have won, and in this moment everyone is as safe as they can be made. ]
Where-
[ It's barely a few minutes before he stirs, once the touch fades, uncurling his limbs and patting at the floor to feel for the auracite. Until now he's been carrying the stone close to his chest, a slight weight he's constantly aware of. It isn't there. His breath catches in his throat. He's lost him. He's lost him. He's left him alone. ] Where is he? Where-
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Date: 2023-01-23 02:06 am (UTC)The auracite? Well it's there, resting next to G'raha's hand where it's dropped. Rolled a small distance away, as if the Miqo'te had fallen asleep and his grip on it relinquished.
But the glow is gone and G'raha unmoving. ]
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Date: 2023-01-23 02:30 am (UTC)This isn't the Exarch. This isn't anyone, not anymore, just a lump of crystal and blood. ]
No. [ He says it softly but firmly, as if he expects someone to listen to him and make all of this untrue. ] No. Stop. Do not do this. Please. Thank you.
[ He paws at G'raha's sleeping form as he speaks, his too-calm tone doing very little to actually disguise the worry. ]
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Date: 2023-01-23 02:56 am (UTC)But, when it looks as though maybe Marcel should give up on this endeavor, lashes flutter. A deep, sharp inhale is taken and ears begin to move once more. ]
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